It's been a long leg of my journey, but it ended on a high note. I lost a pound this week, but I lost 3.5 pounds of fat (woot!). I knew in this hot weather, I was retaining a lot of water. So, I was really worried about my final weigh in during the "weight loss" phase of my program.
Now for maintenence (sigh...the hardest part!)
For me, I am still trying to lose 19 more pounds. I readjusted my goal weight in consultation with my doctor. However, I am still amazed I got down to 159! However, I do feel as if I am beginning a new phase of my weight loss with the end of my Kaiser class.
I have many, many thoughts tonight--about success, failure, and the journey I have been on. The reality is, though, my primary thoughts linger on my classmates--my compatriots on this long journey. There is no doubt that their support and encouragement during these past 30 weeks has been instrumental in my personal success. I just want to take a moment to explain why these folks are so special.
We were thrown together by chance; we came from all walks of life. However, we all shared this one element in common: we felt oppresed by our bodies. Male, female, young (although the youngest of us was in her mid thirties) and old, we felt disconnected with the one person we should feel most connected to: ourselves- our SELF.
Every week (and I only ever missed one week!), these folks showed up and talked about their challenges and successes. Whatever success or failure I felt during the week was cheered on or comiserated by these people. I was inspired by so many people: the older woman who was losing weight to improve her health, a man who was challenged by simply walking. They showed up week after week, month after month--how could I not do the same?
Over our time together, these folks began to recognize the same thing I did--that our bodies are extensions of our souls and mind, and therefore deserve respect.
It's hard for me to believe that I have had 29 weeks of consecutive weight loss. There is no way, NO WAY I could have done it without support. My husband and child greeted me tonight with a card saying "congratulations!" I really should have done it for them--they tolerated my stress, my anger, my worry, my weird diet, all the meetings, changing their lifestyle--almost everything!-- for me.
One of the SMART skills is "Recruit support." The people in my Kaiser group, my family (especially my weight loss buddies: Mom in Law, Mom, and Hubby), my TOPS friends--these are the root of my strength. In a way, that is the best advice I can give anyone trying to make a major life change. Find people who believe, even more than you do, that you can achieve your goal.
Now my weekly meetings are ending and my bimonthly meetings are starting. My blog will continue on Fridays, instead of Wednesdays.
I will work on my recipe section to beef it up, and continue to add links. In addition, I will respond to any single email from someone who needs support. You are welcome--even if you are a stranger to me--to reach out and get a "kudo", or "atta boy", or "you can do it" from me.
Because, I KNOW we can...lose weight, be better with money, raise amazing kids, improve our world, and empower others if we do it together!
Here are the numbers:
Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 159
Goal Weight: 140
Goal Time:
Outer Goal: Looking good while running my 5K--bouncy pony tail and hot new duds!
Inner Goal: To share my strength and draw strength from others...and of course...WORLD PEACE!
See you next week!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
First Milestone Reached!
Well...week 29 weigh in came and went! One pound lost; honestly, a whew not a woot! Now it seems the stakes are so high, since I have gone so long with just losses every week. I feel a little pressure now!
I had two milestones this week:
The first is the Biggest Loser. I have been watching this show for seven years, and every year I have been inspired by it. However, each year nothing happened except I gained weight. Last year on the season opener, I was the same weight as one of the contestants. It was so horrible to realize that I could be on the BIGGEST LOSER and not stand out! Last night, as I watching the season opener I realized that I was 74 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. (For my friends on FB, I did the math wrong last night!).
The second milestone is that I met my MWL goal weight: 160. For those of you reading this blog since the beginning, you know that was my goal weight in the beginning. It's hard to believe I actually made it!
Question of the week: What separates successful losers from not so successful? I have been thinking about this question for a couple of months. Not being truly either yet, and knowing the odds are against me (only 1% of people keep their weight loss off from a typical diet), I am genuinely curious about how to maintain my goal weight for life. Here are my initial thoughts:
1. In her book Rethinking Thin, Gina Kolata talks about how uniquely personal weight is. No insurance chart or doctor can tell you what weight you should actually be. Our notions of BMI and other things are based on statistical data, not impirical data. What's important is having a weight range--it's actually more helpful for you.
For example, my weight should be between 115-150, according to different charts. That's an enormous range. For me personally, my ideal weight will really be when my waist to hip ratio is lower than .8. I figured this will put me in the 135-145 pound range. So, my goal is 140. In fact, this weight was okay with my doctor, was a weight I felt beautiful at, and a weight I can maintain healthfully. Arbitrary numbers set us up for failure. A weight range allows for things such as aging, vacations, stress, etc... A range also, gives you a psychological limit--this is out of my range and I will do what it takes to stay there.
2. The second thing successful losers do is get support. As you all know, I joined two weight loss groups. The Kaiser group will end, but my Thursday group will be on going and provide the accountability I need to maintain my losses. It will also provide me with support if I go outside my range and help me get back on track. (My Thursday group is called TOPS.)
If you have any thoughts on this subject, please email me so I can post the ideas!
Now for the numbers:
Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 160
Goal weight: 140
Goal time:
Outer Goal: I want to wear a pair of black skinny jeans with a sparky tank top!
Inner goal: strength to continue! (and world peace!)
I had two milestones this week:
The first is the Biggest Loser. I have been watching this show for seven years, and every year I have been inspired by it. However, each year nothing happened except I gained weight. Last year on the season opener, I was the same weight as one of the contestants. It was so horrible to realize that I could be on the BIGGEST LOSER and not stand out! Last night, as I watching the season opener I realized that I was 74 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. (For my friends on FB, I did the math wrong last night!).
The second milestone is that I met my MWL goal weight: 160. For those of you reading this blog since the beginning, you know that was my goal weight in the beginning. It's hard to believe I actually made it!
Question of the week: What separates successful losers from not so successful? I have been thinking about this question for a couple of months. Not being truly either yet, and knowing the odds are against me (only 1% of people keep their weight loss off from a typical diet), I am genuinely curious about how to maintain my goal weight for life. Here are my initial thoughts:
1. In her book Rethinking Thin, Gina Kolata talks about how uniquely personal weight is. No insurance chart or doctor can tell you what weight you should actually be. Our notions of BMI and other things are based on statistical data, not impirical data. What's important is having a weight range--it's actually more helpful for you.
For example, my weight should be between 115-150, according to different charts. That's an enormous range. For me personally, my ideal weight will really be when my waist to hip ratio is lower than .8. I figured this will put me in the 135-145 pound range. So, my goal is 140. In fact, this weight was okay with my doctor, was a weight I felt beautiful at, and a weight I can maintain healthfully. Arbitrary numbers set us up for failure. A weight range allows for things such as aging, vacations, stress, etc... A range also, gives you a psychological limit--this is out of my range and I will do what it takes to stay there.
2. The second thing successful losers do is get support. As you all know, I joined two weight loss groups. The Kaiser group will end, but my Thursday group will be on going and provide the accountability I need to maintain my losses. It will also provide me with support if I go outside my range and help me get back on track. (My Thursday group is called TOPS.)
If you have any thoughts on this subject, please email me so I can post the ideas!
Now for the numbers:
Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 160
Goal weight: 140
Goal time:
Outer Goal: I want to wear a pair of black skinny jeans with a sparky tank top!
Inner goal: strength to continue! (and world peace!)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Power of Positive Thinking...It's Not Just For the 1970's Anymore!
Okay...Week 27 of weight loss! Can I hear a what, what! Another pound down, my friends!
This week at my group we talked about an article by Jan Shepard called "What's Eating You: 5 Food Thoughts and Their Effects." This article really touched me, because I saw many of my own issues reflected there.
In summary, they are:
1. Polarized thinking: thinking that everything is either all or nothing or black and white. "I ate one cookie, why not eat the whole bag?"
2.Emotional reasoning: everything you feel must be true. "A person like me doesn't belong at the gym." or "No one will love me, because I am big and stupid.
3. Filtering: perceiving only the negative and not the positive. "I may have nice hair, but notice my hairdresser is trying to cut for my "round" face."
4. Blaming: Blaming yourself or others for problems instead of working to solve them. "My spouse always keeps cookies in the house, that is why I am fat."
5. Controlling Fallacies: thinking that other people are in control of your actions or that you have no control. "I don't have time to exercise."
I can't tell you how many times I allowed my thinking to prevent me from happiness and success, not just in terms of losing weight either. I used to think of myself as a worthless person, whom others were simply tolerating. In truth, I do have that feeling sometimes still. However, I have learned to address that idea head on and feel the feeling, rather than internalize it.
The one simple way this thinking has stopped me in the past is in terms of exercise. I never thought of myself as really capable of doing something like running. I was convinced that I would never be "like those crazy people" jogging along at six in the morning. In truth, I had convinced myself that I was not capable of doing it. That is an example of polarized thinking. "If I can't run; I can't exercise at all." Now, I am one of those people, and I am sure there are people who think I am completely nuts as they drive along and see me walking/running in the early morning hours.
I hear similar types of thinking all the time. "I can't go the gym with all those skinny people." Skinny people are at the gym, but so are a lot of other types of people. Just because you are not perfect, doesn't mean you can't go to a gym. As I told my amazing mother, "no one is looking at you at the gym--they are paying attention to themselves!" (By the way, thinking that others are judging you is an example of "personalization" thinking.)
I'll never forget when I really starting thinking differently about myself in the world. It was the day after my anniversary, when the scale crept up half a pound. I had to dig deep and ask myself, "Why am I so upset by this? Why do I feel so depressed?" I realized that I really needed to actively talk myself out of my negativity and find my "power of positive thinking." I began to really understand that I have achieved so much and am not doomed to failure. I can plan for and expect success in this world. Weight up or down, what matters is how I treat myself and others. If I do good, I can expect to do well. If I eat right and exercise; I will be okay if I fall of the wagon once and a while (like I did on Saturday....I ate so much I got sick! Lesson learned!)
As my stepmom would say, "thoughts are things."
Okay... here are the numbers:
Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 161
Goal weight: 140
The goals:
Outer goal: What can I say? I am feeling pretty good right now!
Inner goal: oooommmmmm!
See you next week!
This week at my group we talked about an article by Jan Shepard called "What's Eating You: 5 Food Thoughts and Their Effects." This article really touched me, because I saw many of my own issues reflected there.
In summary, they are:
1. Polarized thinking: thinking that everything is either all or nothing or black and white. "I ate one cookie, why not eat the whole bag?"
2.Emotional reasoning: everything you feel must be true. "A person like me doesn't belong at the gym." or "No one will love me, because I am big and stupid.
3. Filtering: perceiving only the negative and not the positive. "I may have nice hair, but notice my hairdresser is trying to cut for my "round" face."
4. Blaming: Blaming yourself or others for problems instead of working to solve them. "My spouse always keeps cookies in the house, that is why I am fat."
5. Controlling Fallacies: thinking that other people are in control of your actions or that you have no control. "I don't have time to exercise."
I can't tell you how many times I allowed my thinking to prevent me from happiness and success, not just in terms of losing weight either. I used to think of myself as a worthless person, whom others were simply tolerating. In truth, I do have that feeling sometimes still. However, I have learned to address that idea head on and feel the feeling, rather than internalize it.
The one simple way this thinking has stopped me in the past is in terms of exercise. I never thought of myself as really capable of doing something like running. I was convinced that I would never be "like those crazy people" jogging along at six in the morning. In truth, I had convinced myself that I was not capable of doing it. That is an example of polarized thinking. "If I can't run; I can't exercise at all." Now, I am one of those people, and I am sure there are people who think I am completely nuts as they drive along and see me walking/running in the early morning hours.
I hear similar types of thinking all the time. "I can't go the gym with all those skinny people." Skinny people are at the gym, but so are a lot of other types of people. Just because you are not perfect, doesn't mean you can't go to a gym. As I told my amazing mother, "no one is looking at you at the gym--they are paying attention to themselves!" (By the way, thinking that others are judging you is an example of "personalization" thinking.)
I'll never forget when I really starting thinking differently about myself in the world. It was the day after my anniversary, when the scale crept up half a pound. I had to dig deep and ask myself, "Why am I so upset by this? Why do I feel so depressed?" I realized that I really needed to actively talk myself out of my negativity and find my "power of positive thinking." I began to really understand that I have achieved so much and am not doomed to failure. I can plan for and expect success in this world. Weight up or down, what matters is how I treat myself and others. If I do good, I can expect to do well. If I eat right and exercise; I will be okay if I fall of the wagon once and a while (like I did on Saturday....I ate so much I got sick! Lesson learned!)
As my stepmom would say, "thoughts are things."
Okay... here are the numbers:
Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 161
Goal weight: 140
The goals:
Outer goal: What can I say? I am feeling pretty good right now!
Inner goal: oooommmmmm!
See you next week!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Two More Weeks to Go!
Wow! I think Kaiser deserves a medal! This is my 26th straight week of weight loss on their Medical Weight Loss Program. (Watch, I'll gain weight next week--LOL!) Granted a few of those weeks, like this one was a 1/2 a pound, but that is still better than a poke in the eye!
I was telling my class tonight how instrumental they were in helping me make all kinds of important changes in my life. It is not an exaggeration to say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. The weight loss in a wonderful byproduct of me feeling like I control my life, not that others are controlling it for me.
So, I started a new job (part of me changing things in my life), and I routinely put in 10,000 steps by 2:15 pm on my pedometer! WOW! It's amazing what being lighter on your feet can do. Here is how I do it:
I walk to and from the office to check my box at every break.
I walk to and from the front of my classroom to the back at least five times every class period.
I walk to and from my car twice a day.
I walk around the school on my break.
Basically, I take ANY excuse to walk around, including going to copy machine twice or three times, instead of just doing it all in one fell swoop--yes, it may seem like I am wasting time, but I am getting those steps in!
Although I have made great strides (pun intended) in the diet and exercise area, I am getting concerned, as the end of my class is coming, that I will backslide into my former bad habits. Already I am noticing a strange addiction to low calorie pudding--to the point that I did not buy any today at the store so I wouldn't eat two or three a day. I was journalling my food, noticing that Jello is my go to food when I am tired, stressed, and/or worried. Even though it does not take me over my calorie count for the day, it's the habit that counts--not the food. Managing one's stress through food is a bad idea, whether you are using chocolate cake or carrots.
At any rate, here are the numbers:
Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 162
Goal Weight: 140
Goal Time!
Outer Goal: I want to have fabulous, Jennifer Aniston-like arms!
Inner Goal: To nuture a peaceful space in my heart, and, of course...WORLD PEACE!
See you next week!
I was telling my class tonight how instrumental they were in helping me make all kinds of important changes in my life. It is not an exaggeration to say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. The weight loss in a wonderful byproduct of me feeling like I control my life, not that others are controlling it for me.
So, I started a new job (part of me changing things in my life), and I routinely put in 10,000 steps by 2:15 pm on my pedometer! WOW! It's amazing what being lighter on your feet can do. Here is how I do it:
I walk to and from the office to check my box at every break.
I walk to and from the front of my classroom to the back at least five times every class period.
I walk to and from my car twice a day.
I walk around the school on my break.
Basically, I take ANY excuse to walk around, including going to copy machine twice or three times, instead of just doing it all in one fell swoop--yes, it may seem like I am wasting time, but I am getting those steps in!
Although I have made great strides (pun intended) in the diet and exercise area, I am getting concerned, as the end of my class is coming, that I will backslide into my former bad habits. Already I am noticing a strange addiction to low calorie pudding--to the point that I did not buy any today at the store so I wouldn't eat two or three a day. I was journalling my food, noticing that Jello is my go to food when I am tired, stressed, and/or worried. Even though it does not take me over my calorie count for the day, it's the habit that counts--not the food. Managing one's stress through food is a bad idea, whether you are using chocolate cake or carrots.
At any rate, here are the numbers:
Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 162
Goal Weight: 140
Goal Time!
Outer Goal: I want to have fabulous, Jennifer Aniston-like arms!
Inner Goal: To nuture a peaceful space in my heart, and, of course...WORLD PEACE!
See you next week!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
In the Zone!
Great week this week! I lost 3.5 pounds! Since my BMR is at 1500 calories, that's quite a feat!
Brainstorming with a friend from my weight loss class for reasons for my big loss this week, we came up with....protein! Since I am training for a 5K I am adding a bit more protein into my diet.
Some other things I did differently this week:
I drink more water in the morning.
I no longer eat after 8 PM unless I am genuinely hungry.
In other news...
I started my new job today. It was strange since no one there ever knew me when I was 234. I've come to identify myself as a "fat girl" for so long; it's weird not to have people surprised to see what I look like. My new staff tee shirt is also TWO sizes smaller than the last one I got last year.
I've decided to start this job right by stocking my mini-fridge with healthy snacks and water. It really does help, since the closest food to my job is all junk food. My job is all consuming sometimes, so it's nice to be able to reach into the fridge for a low cal snack instead of donuts in the staff room when hunger strikes. Keeping to a five meal a day plan helps curb hunger as well. I bring two snacks along with my sandwich, so I never feel hungry. Planning is key!
This week's temptation: PTSA breakfast! (However, they had non-fat yogurt--yay!)
Okay here are the numbers:
Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 162.5
Goal weight: 140
Outer goal: I want be in a size 10 dress by Christmas.
Inner goal: I think I need to readjust my body image--so my goal is to see myself as I really am.
See you next week!
Brainstorming with a friend from my weight loss class for reasons for my big loss this week, we came up with....protein! Since I am training for a 5K I am adding a bit more protein into my diet.
Some other things I did differently this week:
I drink more water in the morning.
I no longer eat after 8 PM unless I am genuinely hungry.
In other news...
I started my new job today. It was strange since no one there ever knew me when I was 234. I've come to identify myself as a "fat girl" for so long; it's weird not to have people surprised to see what I look like. My new staff tee shirt is also TWO sizes smaller than the last one I got last year.
I've decided to start this job right by stocking my mini-fridge with healthy snacks and water. It really does help, since the closest food to my job is all junk food. My job is all consuming sometimes, so it's nice to be able to reach into the fridge for a low cal snack instead of donuts in the staff room when hunger strikes. Keeping to a five meal a day plan helps curb hunger as well. I bring two snacks along with my sandwich, so I never feel hungry. Planning is key!
This week's temptation: PTSA breakfast! (However, they had non-fat yogurt--yay!)
Okay here are the numbers:
Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 162.5
Goal weight: 140
Outer goal: I want be in a size 10 dress by Christmas.
Inner goal: I think I need to readjust my body image--so my goal is to see myself as I really am.
See you next week!
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