I Know It's Monday...BUT...

I know it is Monday, but I just have to get some stuff off of my chest!

Can I just say, I am dreading Wednesday's weigh in? Yep...ever since I saw that 4.5 drop last week, I just knew I was in for one frustrating week this time around! Not only am I not losing weight, but the scale is creeping up!

I have checked my food diary (which I keep religiously, despite the lack of food), and the only thing that has changed is that I have started drinking these carbonated waters from my local grocery store. They have no caffeine, no sodium, and no sugar. So, it seems unlikely that they would cause me to gain weight. They come in all these delicious flavors, and it is nice having something different on the ole palate once in a while.

As usual, I have not cheated! So, I guess I have the unreasonable expectation that my sacrifices will be rewarded by an inanimate machine.

Which brings me to my next topic: my toxic relationship with my scales...yes you heard it here first, SCALES plural! My old scale was so off that literally I could not tell how much I weighed. It would have a ten pound differential from day to day, even when I zeroed it out each time. So, I bought a digital scale from Walgreens. I actually liked this scale a lot, since it gives you your weight in .2 pound increments. Then, half way through my Optifast program, I bought a scale at Target that gives me a fat percentage. Much to my surprise, this scale and my other scale have a differential range of .5 to 2.0 pounds! I call them my mean scale and my nice scale, which should tell you how deranged I am!

These scales are the most important thing in my life, forget my husband and child...what do my scales say?!?! This kind of relationship with the scale is disfunctional to say the least, but it is one many of us who diet have. When we make such a radical change in our life, we need positive reinforcement to keep it up! For many of us, we deposit a lot of feelings into an unthinking machine. My goal this week is to accept that the scale is not a measurement of my morality or integrity, but simply a measurement of of my body weight--something that changes depending on what planet I am on! (This is a true fact: go to Mars, and you will weigh less!)

I really need to work on that inner peace goal!

See you Thursday!