Transition drama!

So, the news right up front....drum roll please...I lost two pounds this week!

On the one hand, it's great that my weight loss continues, but the reason for the weight loss is not so great. I have been really feeling bad this week, and when I look at my food journal, I can figure out why. I am not eating enough! I am having a devil of a time eating 1125 calories a day! So, my diet guru Ann (who also teaches my weight loss class) advised me to try to eat my full complement of calories this week. Here goes nothing!

Secretly, I am worried that if I eat all my calories I will balloon up into a Macy's Day Parade float, and my husband will have to tie a string to my ankle and float me along the local thoroughfare. So, I need to get over my overeating anxiety and just eat. I think this reaction is fairly normal when you transition off of an extreme diet like Optifast. Food seems dauntingly dangerous, like a tiger just around the corner waiting to pounce on you! I just have to realize that chocolate eclairs will not magically jump into my mouth and force themselves down my throat. We all have our demons; I guess this one is mine.

Okay...serious/funny anecdote:

I was at Costco last week (for my out of country readers, Costco is a giant warehouse style store that sells things in bulk--so you can buy ten pounds of strawberries and a flat screen t.v. at one place--weird) to buy some things for a birthday bash I was throwing for a friend of mine. When lo! What should I see? That's right, clothes!!

Now, I knew Costco sold clothes, but now that the ole hubby and I are out of "specialty" sizes, I can shop for us almost anywhere. So, chuffed and full of myself, I thought: "of course they will have my size, for I am now in a size 12 (UK size 16), which is one size lower than the national average for women in the U.S. This situation illustrates the enormity of the obesity problem in the U.S.. I had to look through...wait for it...three hundred pairs of jeans to find one pair that was a size 12. The REST of them were size 16 and 18! I found a few size 8's (which USED to be the national average when I was a kid). Costco knows that most of the people who shop in their store are overweight. Sad and strange, I say.

This situation has actually happened to me a few times. I am having trouble finding pants that fit me, which is not a problem I am used to. I used to think that if I became a healthy size, that finding clothes would be the least of my problems. Not so... it's been a challenge being average--I guess in 32 more pounds I will be able to squeeze into some 8's, which seem to fairly abundant at Old Navy and similar.

Okie dokie..school is starting, so I need to work.

The numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 172
Goal Weight: 140

My weekly goal:

Outer goal: to have my mother gasp at my wondrous beauty when I get off the plane in Seattle in August.

Inner goal: to get over my food anxiety and be okay with eating a healthy portion of food...oh...and you know it...WORLD PEACE!

See you next week!