Checking In and....HELLO the HOLIDAYS!

Update:

So, I've gotten a few emails about why I haven't written in a while. The short answer is that my MWL group hasn't met in a while!

No worries though, I have been steadily losing or maintaining my weight! I am currently hovering between 148-150. As we all know, the closer to your goal, the longer it takes.

Many people have also been asking me about my post-Optifast food plan. In general, I eat between 1200-1500 calories a day. Even on Thanksgiving, I did not go over 1650. Of those calories, I eat a minimum of 25 grams of fiber a day, but shoot for 35 grams. I also eat a minimum of five fruits and vegetables everyday--usually more. I eat four ounces of lean protein every day. I also eat three-four servings of non-fat dairy a day. I take a multi-vitamin, vitamin C and vitamin D everyday. 12 glasses of water, 8 of which AT MINIMUM is just water. I generally avoid sugar, butter, etc...but try to eat good fats to support brain health.

THIS FOOD PLAN IS ONE THAT I DEVELOPED IN CONJUNCTION WITH MY HEALTH PROFESSIONAL TEAM, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR DIET. Please.

Basically, I treat everyday as a new day. I recommit myself to my program. I am training for a half marathon in February, so I train for that five days a week. (Feel free to be my friend on dailymile.com!) I also try to do one exercise class a week.

Sigh.... The Holidays....or....YAY! The Holidays!

So, you may ask...how did I get through Thanksgiving eating all day, what most people eat during the appetizer portion of the night? Good question! First of all, I ate breakfast, snack, and lunch. By the time dinner was ready, I was ready for dinner--not a huge feast. Although breakfast was a post walk brunch at a friends, where nothing was low fat except the fruit salad, I used my knowledge of portion size to eat healthfully and enjoy myself!

After the brunch (where I ate a 1/2 portion of the best quiche I have ever had!, 1 cup of fruit salad, and two tablespoons of regular honey greek yogurt), I looked everything up on my BlackBerry and wrote down the calories in my food journal. My attitude was this--I don't care what the calories are, I just want to write them down. I fully expected to eat far more calories than usual--I just wasn't going to eat whatever--I wanted to be careful! Lunch was my usual yogurt and veggie sandwich. Dinner was the--yes I said it---the low fat Thanksgiving my mother in law and I cooked up. So, slightly unfair advantage compared to my dieting friends in the trenches, but there are many things to eat at Christmas and Thanksgiving that are not fattening: roast turkey, roasted vegetables, and salad. No one is forcing anyone to eat mashed potatoes. You also don't have to eat a ton of something. One tablespoon of anything is fine, but don't eat 35 tablespoons. If you don't want to know the calorie count of something, you shouldn't eat it!

Okay...one more thing...dessert. If you love dessert, the way I love it, eat it! What is sooooo great is that if you skip all the stuff you really don't want to eat, like extra appetizers, seconds, etc...you can have your 350 calorie slice of pumpkin pie! Seriously, eat what you want--not what is put in front of you, or what are you are eating to look busy, or what you are eating to avoid talking to that weird third cousin who "jokingly" hits on you every year.

Needless to say, if you "drink it, ink it; you you bite it, write it." If you write everything down and it comes to 4,000 calories--at least you know! So, when the scale creeps up, you know why. Everyday is a new day. That's what is so wonderful about life!

The key to successful holidays is making your needs known and eliciting support for your goals. Tell friends and family that there need to be some options for you or offer to bring some. Your friends and family love you, and most of them will be more than willing to help you.

Here are the goals:

Inner goal: stop the self criticism and acknowledge my successes
Outer goal: to look fabulous at the annual Christmas Party!

Here are the numbers:

Starting weight: 225
Current weight: 149
Goal weight: 140

See you next time!

It's been a while...

So, it's been a while!

When my transition stopped, I wasn't really sure what to write about or if people would be interested. I am still losing weight, but it's fairly slow!

However, the coming and going of Thanksgiving got me in the mood to reflect and share what I've been thinking about.

When I woke up this morning, it was a good day! After days of staying the same weight, I am down a couple of pounds.

Surgery, Weight Loss, and Chocolate Pudding...

So, of course, right as I am trying to lose these last fifteen pounds, I have to go into a surgery to get my hernias fixed. That means weeks of little to no exercise, plus two weeks of forced inactivity with the constant temptation of chocolate pudding at every moment! Sigh. Double sigh.

Here's the kicker...when I went into surgery I was 156, next morning while I was in the Emergency Room for unexpected bleeding, I was 166.5. I almost burst into tears! It took me two months to lose those ten and half pounds, and now! now! now! THEY WERE ALL BACK! Thank goodness my mother was there to talk me off my psychological ledge. My mom assured me that it was all water, yadda, yadda, yadda....however all I felt was this buzzing in my head. However, moms are always right, and the weight came off over the next week.

Despite all the surgery drama, I still managed to lose four pounds since my last weigh in at Kaiser (which is now every two weeks). So, I have officially lost 70 pounds since March, which is pretty darn cool! Now, I am 14.5 pounds away from my goal weight, my fat percentage is in the "acceptable" range, and my BMI is close to normal.

Some interesting things I learned in my weight loss support groups these past few weeks:

Fiber is key. Apparently, if you eat 35 grams of fiber a day, it helps curb hunger and promotes weight loss.

It's really important to take one day at a time. One bad day or bad decision does not negate all your hard work.

It's okay to give yourself a break. It was hard for me to accept that I had to take time to heal. However, beating myself up because I couldn't exercise just makes exercise seem like an obligation, not something fun. Being positive helps you stay focused on what's important, taking care of yourself.

So...here are the numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 154.5
Goal weight: 140

Goal time!

Outer goal: A young Ingrid Bergman...okay a middle-aged Ingrid Bergman!
Inner goal: To find the strength to walk my 5K on Halloween....and World Peace!

Maintenance?

So, my official maintenance period starts for my Medical Weight Loss Program! Yay!

However, I still want to lose 18 pounds, so I feel like I am still in my "transition" phase. The good news is that I lost 1/2 a pound since my last weigh in.

I've added 50-100 calories a day into my diet, and I am trying to reach a goal of 35 grams of fiber a day. So, far I am getting in 31-40 grams--yay! A friend turned me on to the Fiber 35 Diet, which I am not following to a "T," but certainly am inspired by. I am primarily adding in whole grains, to up the fiber and calories.

If any of you have tried this diet, let me know! I am curious how it has worked for you.

Okay, I am not complaining here, just commenting. I am seriously shocked at the enormous difference in sizes across different stores. I mean, I am officially still overweight, but I am a "Medium" for most of the discount stores. How can I be an "extra large" if I buy a pattern at the fabric store, but a "medium" at Target? Also, even numbered sizes seem to make no sense. I have size tens that are falling off of me, but 12's and 14's that still fit. It just seems so strange! I have heard of "vanity sizing," but this is ridiculous! I can't just pop into a store and trust that a "large" or 12 or whatever means anything! Okay, I lied...I am complaining! Guys, let's standardize a little, please! It's no fun being a "medium," if just means I am actually a large who has delusions of thinness!

At any rate, I am heading into surgery on Tuesday to fix my hernias (which this whole experience was supposed to help), so I am faced with two weeks of forced inactivity and boredom. Can we say weight loss landmine? Fortunately, my mom is here to help me out, so perhaps she will keep me away from my boredom eating. However, I am hoping to get lots of reading and writing done. It will be a great opportunity to update my recipes and write some poetry!

So, here are the numbers:

Starting weight: 235
Goal weight: 140
Current weight: 158

Goal time!

Inner goal: strength to avoid the fridge while recovering!
Outer goal: to be a true medium!

See you next week!

The Last Meeting

It's been a long leg of my journey, but it ended on a high note. I lost a pound this week, but I lost 3.5 pounds of fat (woot!). I knew in this hot weather, I was retaining a lot of water. So, I was really worried about my final weigh in during the "weight loss" phase of my program.

Now for maintenence (sigh...the hardest part!)

For me, I am still trying to lose 19 more pounds. I readjusted my goal weight in consultation with my doctor. However, I am still amazed I got down to 159! However, I do feel as if I am beginning a new phase of my weight loss with the end of my Kaiser class.

I have many, many thoughts tonight--about success, failure, and the journey I have been on. The reality is, though, my primary thoughts linger on my classmates--my compatriots on this long journey. There is no doubt that their support and encouragement during these past 30 weeks has been instrumental in my personal success. I just want to take a moment to explain why these folks are so special.

We were thrown together by chance; we came from all walks of life. However, we all shared this one element in common: we felt oppresed by our bodies. Male, female, young (although the youngest of us was in her mid thirties) and old, we felt disconnected with the one person we should feel most connected to: ourselves- our SELF.

Every week (and I only ever missed one week!), these folks showed up and talked about their challenges and successes. Whatever success or failure I felt during the week was cheered on or comiserated by these people. I was inspired by so many people: the older woman who was losing weight to improve her health, a man who was challenged by simply walking. They showed up week after week, month after month--how could I not do the same?

Over our time together, these folks began to recognize the same thing I did--that our bodies are extensions of our souls and mind, and therefore deserve respect.

It's hard for me to believe that I have had 29 weeks of consecutive weight loss. There is no way, NO WAY I could have done it without support. My husband and child greeted me tonight with a card saying "congratulations!" I really should have done it for them--they tolerated my stress, my anger, my worry, my weird diet, all the meetings, changing their lifestyle--almost everything!-- for me.

One of the SMART skills is "Recruit support." The people in my Kaiser group, my family (especially my weight loss buddies: Mom in Law, Mom, and Hubby), my TOPS friends--these are the root of my strength. In a way, that is the best advice I can give anyone trying to make a major life change. Find people who believe, even more than you do, that you can achieve your goal.

Now my weekly meetings are ending and my bimonthly meetings are starting. My blog will continue on Fridays, instead of Wednesdays.

I will work on my recipe section to beef it up, and continue to add links. In addition, I will respond to any single email from someone who needs support. You are welcome--even if you are a stranger to me--to reach out and get a "kudo", or "atta boy", or "you can do it" from me.

Because, I KNOW we can...lose weight, be better with money, raise amazing kids, improve our world, and empower others if we do it together!

Here are the numbers:

Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 159
Goal Weight: 140

Goal Time:

Outer Goal: Looking good while running my 5K--bouncy pony tail and hot new duds!
Inner Goal: To share my strength and draw strength from others...and of course...WORLD PEACE!

See you next week!

First Milestone Reached!

Well...week 29 weigh in came and went! One pound lost; honestly, a whew not a woot! Now it seems the stakes are so high, since I have gone so long with just losses every week. I feel a little pressure now!

I had two milestones this week:

The first is the Biggest Loser. I have been watching this show for seven years, and every year I have been inspired by it. However, each year nothing happened except I gained weight. Last year on the season opener, I was the same weight as one of the contestants. It was so horrible to realize that I could be on the BIGGEST LOSER and not stand out! Last night, as I watching the season opener I realized that I was 74 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. (For my friends on FB, I did the math wrong last night!).

The second milestone is that I met my MWL goal weight: 160. For those of you reading this blog since the beginning, you know that was my goal weight in the beginning. It's hard to believe I actually made it!

Question of the week: What separates successful losers from not so successful? I have been thinking about this question for a couple of months. Not being truly either yet, and knowing the odds are against me (only 1% of people keep their weight loss off from a typical diet), I am genuinely curious about how to maintain my goal weight for life. Here are my initial thoughts:

1. In her book Rethinking Thin, Gina Kolata talks about how uniquely personal weight is. No insurance chart or doctor can tell you what weight you should actually be. Our notions of BMI and other things are based on statistical data, not impirical data. What's important is having a weight range--it's actually more helpful for you.

For example, my weight should be between 115-150, according to different charts. That's an enormous range. For me personally, my ideal weight will really be when my waist to hip ratio is lower than .8. I figured this will put me in the 135-145 pound range. So, my goal is 140. In fact, this weight was okay with my doctor, was a weight I felt beautiful at, and a weight I can maintain healthfully. Arbitrary numbers set us up for failure. A weight range allows for things such as aging, vacations, stress, etc... A range also, gives you a psychological limit--this is out of my range and I will do what it takes to stay there.

2. The second thing successful losers do is get support. As you all know, I joined two weight loss groups. The Kaiser group will end, but my Thursday group will be on going and provide the accountability I need to maintain my losses. It will also provide me with support if I go outside my range and help me get back on track. (My Thursday group is called TOPS.)

If you have any thoughts on this subject, please email me so I can post the ideas!

Now for the numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 160
Goal weight: 140

Goal time:

Outer Goal: I want to wear a pair of black skinny jeans with a sparky tank top!
Inner goal: strength to continue! (and world peace!)

The Power of Positive Thinking...It's Not Just For the 1970's Anymore!

Okay...Week 27 of weight loss! Can I hear a what, what! Another pound down, my friends!

This week at my group we talked about an article by Jan Shepard called "What's Eating You: 5 Food Thoughts and Their Effects." This article really touched me, because I saw many of my own issues reflected there.

In summary, they are:

1. Polarized thinking: thinking that everything is either all or nothing or black and white. "I ate one cookie, why not eat the whole bag?"

2.Emotional reasoning: everything you feel must be true. "A person like me doesn't belong at the gym." or "No one will love me, because I am big and stupid.

3. Filtering: perceiving only the negative and not the positive. "I may have nice hair, but notice my hairdresser is trying to cut for my "round" face."

4. Blaming: Blaming yourself or others for problems instead of working to solve them. "My spouse always keeps cookies in the house, that is why I am fat."

5. Controlling Fallacies: thinking that other people are in control of your actions or that you have no control. "I don't have time to exercise."

I can't tell you how many times I allowed my thinking to prevent me from happiness and success, not just in terms of losing weight either. I used to think of myself as a worthless person, whom others were simply tolerating. In truth, I do have that feeling sometimes still. However, I have learned to address that idea head on and feel the feeling, rather than internalize it.

The one simple way this thinking has stopped me in the past is in terms of exercise. I never thought of myself as really capable of doing something like running. I was convinced that I would never be "like those crazy people" jogging along at six in the morning. In truth, I had convinced myself that I was not capable of doing it. That is an example of polarized thinking. "If I can't run; I can't exercise at all." Now, I am one of those people, and I am sure there are people who think I am completely nuts as they drive along and see me walking/running in the early morning hours.

I hear similar types of thinking all the time. "I can't go the gym with all those skinny people." Skinny people are at the gym, but so are a lot of other types of people. Just because you are not perfect, doesn't mean you can't go to a gym. As I told my amazing mother, "no one is looking at you at the gym--they are paying attention to themselves!" (By the way, thinking that others are judging you is an example of "personalization" thinking.)

I'll never forget when I really starting thinking differently about myself in the world. It was the day after my anniversary, when the scale crept up half a pound. I had to dig deep and ask myself, "Why am I so upset by this? Why do I feel so depressed?" I realized that I really needed to actively talk myself out of my negativity and find my "power of positive thinking." I began to really understand that I have achieved so much and am not doomed to failure. I can plan for and expect success in this world. Weight up or down, what matters is how I treat myself and others. If I do good, I can expect to do well. If I eat right and exercise; I will be okay if I fall of the wagon once and a while (like I did on Saturday....I ate so much I got sick! Lesson learned!)

As my stepmom would say, "thoughts are things."

Okay... here are the numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 161
Goal weight: 140

The goals:

Outer goal: What can I say? I am feeling pretty good right now!
Inner goal: oooommmmmm!

See you next week!

Two More Weeks to Go!

Wow! I think Kaiser deserves a medal! This is my 26th straight week of weight loss on their Medical Weight Loss Program. (Watch, I'll gain weight next week--LOL!) Granted a few of those weeks, like this one was a 1/2 a pound, but that is still better than a poke in the eye!

I was telling my class tonight how instrumental they were in helping me make all kinds of important changes in my life. It is not an exaggeration to say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. The weight loss in a wonderful byproduct of me feeling like I control my life, not that others are controlling it for me.

So, I started a new job (part of me changing things in my life), and I routinely put in 10,000 steps by 2:15 pm on my pedometer! WOW! It's amazing what being lighter on your feet can do. Here is how I do it:

I walk to and from the office to check my box at every break.
I walk to and from the front of my classroom to the back at least five times every class period.
I walk to and from my car twice a day.
I walk around the school on my break.

Basically, I take ANY excuse to walk around, including going to copy machine twice or three times, instead of just doing it all in one fell swoop--yes, it may seem like I am wasting time, but I am getting those steps in!


Although I have made great strides (pun intended) in the diet and exercise area, I am getting concerned, as the end of my class is coming, that I will backslide into my former bad habits. Already I am noticing a strange addiction to low calorie pudding--to the point that I did not buy any today at the store so I wouldn't eat two or three a day. I was journalling my food, noticing that Jello is my go to food when I am tired, stressed, and/or worried. Even though it does not take me over my calorie count for the day, it's the habit that counts--not the food. Managing one's stress through food is a bad idea, whether you are using chocolate cake or carrots.

At any rate, here are the numbers:

Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 162
Goal Weight: 140

Goal Time!

Outer Goal: I want to have fabulous, Jennifer Aniston-like arms!
Inner Goal: To nuture a peaceful space in my heart, and, of course...WORLD PEACE!

See you next week!

In the Zone!

Great week this week! I lost 3.5 pounds! Since my BMR is at 1500 calories, that's quite a feat!

Brainstorming with a friend from my weight loss class for reasons for my big loss this week, we came up with....protein! Since I am training for a 5K I am adding a bit more protein into my diet.

Some other things I did differently this week:

I drink more water in the morning.
I no longer eat after 8 PM unless I am genuinely hungry.

In other news...

I started my new job today. It was strange since no one there ever knew me when I was 234. I've come to identify myself as a "fat girl" for so long; it's weird not to have people surprised to see what I look like. My new staff tee shirt is also TWO sizes smaller than the last one I got last year.

I've decided to start this job right by stocking my mini-fridge with healthy snacks and water. It really does help, since the closest food to my job is all junk food. My job is all consuming sometimes, so it's nice to be able to reach into the fridge for a low cal snack instead of donuts in the staff room when hunger strikes. Keeping to a five meal a day plan helps curb hunger as well. I bring two snacks along with my sandwich, so I never feel hungry. Planning is key!

This week's temptation: PTSA breakfast! (However, they had non-fat yogurt--yay!)

Okay here are the numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 162.5
Goal weight: 140

Outer goal: I want be in a size 10 dress by Christmas.
Inner goal: I think I need to readjust my body image--so my goal is to see myself as I really am.

See you next week!

Slow and steady wins the race...

Another pound down!

We've been having a heat wave here in the lovely San Francisco Bay Area, which reminded me to talk about water.

You remember water, right? Water consumption is essential to weight loss, and most people in the United States are dehydrated. Yep, that means you are probably dehydrated. When I was eating Optifast only, I was drinking a gallon of water a day, and my blood tests still showed me to be slightly dehydrated.

So, what are some signs of dehydration?

1. Thirst. If you feel slightly thirsty, your body REALLY needs water!
2. Hunger. If you feel hungry, even though you have eaten in the last three hours, you are probably thirsty. The sensors in your brain for hunger and thirst are right next to each other and overlap.
3. This one is gross, so beware. Yellow pee. That's right! Your pee should be almost clear. If your pee is anything other than pale yellow, you don't drink enough water.
4. Dry skin. Your skin should not be flaky, unless you have a skin condition like eczema.
5. Really loose skin. Your skin should plump up a little, unless you are above the age of 90. Even people in their 70's and 80's should have some basic elasticity in their skin.

The rule of thumb is 8-8 ounces of water a day...if your BMI is in the normal range. Be careful, caffeinated drinks have a diuretic effect--so limit caffeine. For those of us who are in the high normal, overweight, or obese categories, you should drink an extra 8 ounces of water for every 25 pounds you are overweight. So, at 230 pounds, I needed to drink 5 extra glasses of water a day. Now, I need to drink 10 glasses of water a day.

You should also eat your water. Fresh fruits and veggies have water in them, so munch away--especially if you are getting hunger signals. Sometimes water rich food can stop both hunger and thirst signals.

The numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 166
Goal weight: 140

The goals:

Outer goal--I want to wear a size 8.
Inner goal--to stay strong and focused during my hernia surgery!

Vacation...blessing or curse?

While on vacation in Seattle with my Mom, I lost 2.5 pounds. That's right, 2.5 pounds!

For many of us, trips or simple "stay-cations" are rife with pitfalls for any serious dieter. You eat out all the time, plus you cannot really stay on your normal sleep, water, and exercise routine. I had the same problems, but I made two goals for myself for my vacation. Exercise every single day. Not just walk around, do something that actually raised my heart rate (which is actually really hard for me now, since my resting heart rate is 41!). My other goal was to stick to 1200 calories a day. Here's how I did it.

Exercise: Before my folks got up in the morning, I woke up and walked two miles. Granted, I wasn't jogging most of the time, but I was taking a path that had inclines and required some effort. The hardest part about this aspect wasn't getting up, since my parents don't wake up very early. The hardest part was packing. I was the girl who went to Europe for a week with a school backpack--yeah--I am the lightest packer I know. This was the first trip I took where I had a difficult time fitting everything into a carry on bag! In part, I wanted to bring more fabulous clothes, since I am looking better. However, I needed to bring at least enough clothes to workout in as well. However, it seemed worth it to take a larger bag and check it, so I could have a good chance at meeting my goals on my trip.

Why (you may ask) didn't I just wash my workout clothes at my Mom's? Good question! Fitness asked successful, long term exercisers some of their tricks, and one of them was to have clean exercise clothes available to you AT ALL TIMES. I didn't want to have the excuse of not having clean clothes. In actuality, a few extra tee shirts and leggings didn't take up much room anyway. It was really worth it! What was funny, is that I didn't actually end up packing enough, so my Mom was nice enough to take me to Kohl's to pick up a few extra shirts. It's all a learning process!

1200 Calories: Staying on track with this goal was the hardest. Not because we were eating out a lot (which we were), but because my parents have ONE, one cup measuring cup! Thank God they had a food scale!!! Making food at their house was challenging. I am so grateful to my mother, who took me to the grocery store after she picked me up from the airport (we didn't even go home first!), so I was able to get a lot of pre-measured things (like yogurt and English muffins).

Actually, my family's support was invaluable, as they did not bat an eyelash when I asked for the 57 millionth time whether or not a restaurant had their nutritional information available. It must have been strange eating food with a person who takes five minutes to order dinner ("All dressing and sauces on the side"..."I am sorry are those vegetables steamed or sauteed?" yadda, yadda, yadda). I actually talked to three people (two of whom were managers) about the exact way they prepared their "spa chicken." Some servers will just tell you want they think you want to hear, not give you the truth about how the food is made. Persistence and big tips are key to make sure your food is prepared the way you want it.

When a restaurant does not offer their nutritional information, here is what I do to ensure success:

1. I do not order anything with "crispy" in the description.
2. I do not order any "entree sized" salad. Salads are loaded with extra calories. I order side or green salads only.
3. I will order food that is identifiable--no stews, curries, or sauces. Why? So, I can estimate how much of what I am eating.
4. I always assume that there is 100 calories of hidden fats in any restaurant meal, unless I have good reason not to.
5. I order things dry cooked and steamed. Yes, it's not as tasty as your companion's food, but you will lose weight.
6. Order a la carte if possible--that way, if you just want to eat one egg and English muffin, you are not tempted by the rest of the food in a regular sized breakfast. This technique is harder at dinner time, but still possible.
7. Order the appetizer size of something.
8. Look up the nutritional information of the restaurant before you order--when the server sees the calorie book in your hand, he or she know you are serious.
9. Don't be chintzy--a lot of people don't realize this, but servers often get paid less than minimum wage and live off tips (yep it's legal). If you order something that is off the menu or complicated, tip 20%. Or, in the case of you Optifast folks, leave a the tip you would have left, had you not brought your own food.
10. If you think the server is uninformed or lying to you, just confirm your needs. "Are you sure that fish is cooked without butter? It's really important to me to make sure. I will have to send it back if there is butter on there." The server doesn't want the hassle of you sending back food, so he or she will make sure to talk to the kitchen.

To wrap up, my vacation was a blessing, since I got to hang with my folks and challenge myself in new ways!

Anyway, here are the numbers!

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 167
Goal weight: 140

Outer Goal: Right now, I am looking pretty good, like a chunky Christie Brinkley with glasses--so I perhaps....Elle McPherson on the cover of Sports Illustrated?

Inner Goal: To make sure I treat myself, because I achieved two major goals this week and...say it with me...WORLD PEACE!

Another Pound Bites the Dust!

Did she or didn't she? Yes she did!!! I FINALLY broke the elusive 170 barrier! I weighed in early this week, due to my trip to Seattle. I was worried, but the result I wanted happened!

It's official...I am in the 160's! So I was thinking of what was going on the last time I was under 170 pounds. Here is my list:

1. The Berlin Wall came down.
2. I paid to see Cinderella in concert.
3. Cell phones were the size of large bricks.
4. I honestly thought that I would die alone surrounded by cats due to my strange addiction to Mojo Nixon.
5. A schoolmate of mine, Randall, did a report on something called "compact discs," and I thought he was crazy that ANYTHING could replace my trusty cassettes.
6. I had to go into the bank to make a deposit to my account.

Please post the lists of what was going on in your life the last time you were at or near or goal weight; I would love to read them!

On a separate note, this was my first week eating zero Optifast. Obviously, it went well as I lost two pounds of fat. I think the hardest part is weighing and measuring everything that goes into my mouth. However, I did relax a bit for my anniversary and I ate almost 1600 calories that day. It was the first time EVER I went over calories, plus I had a glass of wine (which wasn't very good, actually). Other than the wine, my calories were from excellent, nutritious food--so no guilt allowed. For those of you who live in the San Francisco Bay Area, check out the cafe at the De Young Museum (it's part of the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco). They have a lot of delicious and healthy food there that is locally sourced. Their coffee is divine!

A tip for those of you out and about on restricted diets: I started asking about vegan options (not vegetarian, which are often loaded with fats) for snacks and treats. Vegan food does not have any animal fats, which often makes it lower in calories. Like many vegetarian foods, some packaged vegan stuff has a lot of sugar, but no egg or butter. For example, a typical vegan cupcake has 150-200 calories, whereas a regular cupcake has 450-600 calories. Vegan food is surprisingly yummy (and I love me some meat, so I was expecting tasteless cardboard). In fact, I go vegetarian 3-4 days a week right now, as it helps me stay on my 1200 calories a day yet still eat abundantly.

Another tip for those of us on transition or maintenance... it turns out Subway does have numerous healthy options for a wide variety of diets (they pushed Subway RELENTLESSLY on the Biggest Loser, so it was sort of a turn off for me). However, while there, my poor hubby fell into the "healthy" menu trap, when he failed to notice that the calorie counts did not include all that makes a sandwich so yummy (like mayo). What's great about Subway is that they will make your food how you tell them. Yes, I paid a 4 bucks for what amounted to two cups of lettuce, a tomato, and one ounce of roast beef BUT I stayed on my plan;and that made the four bucks worth it.

Here are the numbers:

Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 169.5
Goal Weight: 140

Here are my goals:

Outer Goal: I want to run the 5K I signed up for the entire time....NO WALKING (and look like a young Elle McPherson while doing it...sigh... I can dream!)

Inner Goal: I need to feel my success and not dwell on my failures....and of course...world peace!

Peace out to you all and post some comments!

I think I can...I think I can...

Remember "The Little Engine That Could"? It was one of my favorite stories as a child. It's about a little engine trying to get up a BIG mountain. For many of us, weight loss feels like a really big mountain sometimes. It definitely feels that way to me right now.

For the last three weeks, my weight loss has been really slow--don't get me wrong--I am grateful that I am losing weight. This week's was a whopping .5 pounds. However, it's hard to adjust to the sudden snail's pace that things are going. I keep reminding myself that I look and feel good--that's what's important.

My friends in my MWL class are experiencing the same thing and even gaining weight. So, I did as Anne (our dietitian) suggested and looked at my food journal. Lo! Even though my calories were on point and the exercise was there, I noticed I was drinking less water and eating more processed foods (mainly sugar-free chocolate pudding). So, this week I am rigorously monitoring my water intake and limiting my processed treats to one a day (as opposed to more than one--okay I was having two or three a day, I admit it!). I am also trying to get more calories in before 1 PM. I was sort of calorie loading at the end of the day--not a good thing.

I guess what they say is true! Food journaling really does help you figure out where you are going wrong!

Okay time for the numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight 170.5
Goal weight: 140

Outer Goal: Size 10 jeans
Inner Goal: feeling like I deserve good things...and world peace!

The slow down begins...

In every weight loss journey there is an inevitable point where the weight loss begins to slow down. For me, that point is now. The reasons are logical; one is smaller, so your body burns fewer calories.

The reality is hard, however. One likes to believe that we are the magical exception to the calorie in-calorie out rule; that our prior weight loss can be sustained and even increased. However, the laws of physics are against us--damn you Sir Isaac Newton! Despite upping the exercise ante this week (ballet, spin class, weight training, plus extra walking!), I only lost a pound during my weigh in. The upside is that I lost a pound and half of fat--always a good thing. I guess I was hoping that my extra work this week would offset the extra calories I am taking in (I promised my hubby to eat at least a 1000 calories a day!), and I would still lose my typical two pounds.

This week, my goal is to eat 1195 calories a day. I can add in an extra grain--so that will help! My worry about blowing up like a balloon is subsiding, as I realized that--despite eating extra calories all week, I still lost weight.

I thought I would share something I learned in my MWL class that has been very helpful to me. SMART skills. We were given a book called "Living Smart." In this book (and others), it outlines a way to change any behavior. I am currently applying these skills towards my 5K training, which is going slowly, and I am seeing results. My current goal is: "I will add an extra 1/2 mile of jogging to my morning workout twice this week."

The SMART skills:

S: Set a measurable goal. For example: "I will eat 1195 calories everyday this week."

M: Monitor your goal. For example: "I will write down the calories of what I eat everyday."

A: Arrange your world for success. For example: "I will buy a journal and a calorie counting book and keep it in my bag."

R: Recruit support. For example: "I will ask my partner/spouse to measure out portions for me before serving dinner, so I will be able to accurately count my calories."

T: Treat yourself. For example: "If I write down my calories and stay on target everyday for seven days, I will take myself to the movies."

I actually had the hardest time with "treat yourself." It sort of seemed self-indulgent. I mean, shouldn't we be doing this stuff anyway? However it really does work to know that you will have a treat at the end. I usually get a manicure or buy a new book (when I have money) or save a favorite show (on the DVR) to watch until I meet a goal (when I don't have money).

Anywho...here are the numbers!

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 171
Goal weight: 140

Outer goal: I am thinking...Christie Brinkley, early eighties.....
Inner goal: Peace with food, peace with myself, and WORLD PEACE!

See you next week!

Transition drama!

So, the news right up front....drum roll please...I lost two pounds this week!

On the one hand, it's great that my weight loss continues, but the reason for the weight loss is not so great. I have been really feeling bad this week, and when I look at my food journal, I can figure out why. I am not eating enough! I am having a devil of a time eating 1125 calories a day! So, my diet guru Ann (who also teaches my weight loss class) advised me to try to eat my full complement of calories this week. Here goes nothing!

Secretly, I am worried that if I eat all my calories I will balloon up into a Macy's Day Parade float, and my husband will have to tie a string to my ankle and float me along the local thoroughfare. So, I need to get over my overeating anxiety and just eat. I think this reaction is fairly normal when you transition off of an extreme diet like Optifast. Food seems dauntingly dangerous, like a tiger just around the corner waiting to pounce on you! I just have to realize that chocolate eclairs will not magically jump into my mouth and force themselves down my throat. We all have our demons; I guess this one is mine.

Okay...serious/funny anecdote:

I was at Costco last week (for my out of country readers, Costco is a giant warehouse style store that sells things in bulk--so you can buy ten pounds of strawberries and a flat screen t.v. at one place--weird) to buy some things for a birthday bash I was throwing for a friend of mine. When lo! What should I see? That's right, clothes!!

Now, I knew Costco sold clothes, but now that the ole hubby and I are out of "specialty" sizes, I can shop for us almost anywhere. So, chuffed and full of myself, I thought: "of course they will have my size, for I am now in a size 12 (UK size 16), which is one size lower than the national average for women in the U.S. This situation illustrates the enormity of the obesity problem in the U.S.. I had to look through...wait for it...three hundred pairs of jeans to find one pair that was a size 12. The REST of them were size 16 and 18! I found a few size 8's (which USED to be the national average when I was a kid). Costco knows that most of the people who shop in their store are overweight. Sad and strange, I say.

This situation has actually happened to me a few times. I am having trouble finding pants that fit me, which is not a problem I am used to. I used to think that if I became a healthy size, that finding clothes would be the least of my problems. Not so... it's been a challenge being average--I guess in 32 more pounds I will be able to squeeze into some 8's, which seem to fairly abundant at Old Navy and similar.

Okie dokie..school is starting, so I need to work.

The numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 172
Goal Weight: 140

My weekly goal:

Outer goal: to have my mother gasp at my wondrous beauty when I get off the plane in Seattle in August.

Inner goal: to get over my food anxiety and be okay with eating a healthy portion of food...oh...and you know it...WORLD PEACE!

See you next week!

Good news everybody!

Ahhh any fan of Futurama knows that when Professor Farnsworth says the fateful words, "Good news everybody!", some dastardly game is afoot. However, I would say a net loss of two pounds is ACTUAL good news, especially as it was a harrowing week weight-wise.

The transition from Optifast to real food has been challenging, as it is difficult for me to eat as much as a I should on a regular schedule. I did well, enjoying my fresh strawberries quite especially. (I live in sunny California, the land of the largest, juiciest strawberries on the planet!) In fact, yesterday I hit my local farmer's market for the first time since going on this crazy diet! The nectarines and peaches were so fragrant and juicy! It was wonderful to be able to taste a bit without worrying! (Yes, I did keep track and include the tastes in my food journal.) They were selling rhubarb, so I think I am going to try to make a low-cal rhubarb/strawberry compote. If I am successful, I will post the recipe here!

I have been trying this new challenge to run a ten minute mile. So far I have been unsuccessful, but the challenge has gotten me motivated to get up early and walk/jog two miles at my school's track every morning! It is pretty wonderful getting my exercise done with in the morning (I guess that's why morning exercisers have been shown keep off weight and be healthy longer.) More time for lounging after work!

I decided to write some FAQ's about the program I am on, since a few people have sent me questions.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. Are you nuts?

Yes.

2. What kind of diet are you on?

I am on three stage diet. The first stage is a medical fast, which is limited to 960 calories a day of Optifast products only. The second stage is transition, which is a blend of whole foods and Optifast. The third stage is a 1200 calorie diet of whole foods. The progam is 82 weeks, 30 of which are the weight loss stage, 52 weeks is the maintence stage.

Right now, I am in week 2 of 4 of the transition stage.

3. Is it hard?

Yes and no. The first month of Optifast only is hard, but you learn coping skills fairly quickly. You need to be honest with people and yourself about what you are doing and why.

So far the hardest part is reincorporating food into my life. Everyone is so excited that you can eat, they want to make you food. They don't realize that you cannot have any food that has sauces or butter on it. Plus you can only have a little bit. So, eating at others' homes is tragically difficult. My mother in law was a GEM the last time I went to visit, as she called me before hand to discuss the menu. I can tell you I was extraordiarily grateful that she did so.

4. Do I have to exercise?

Yes, but I don't exercise like a demon. I literally do 30 min of cardio and 10 minutes of light weight training 3-5 days a week. That is not much in the grand scheme of things.

5. Can I order this stuff online and do it myself?

Yes, but that choice is pretty dangerous. My plan is medically supervised. I get routine check-ups and blood work done. I would not do a medical fast without medical supervision. I did the program through my local hospital, because it was recommended by my personal physician---not a doctor whose sole purpose is to sell Optifast.

You can lose weight by looking up your BMR, sticking to that number of calories a day, and exercising 4-5 days a week. My husband lost a lot of weight that way.

The numbers:

Starting weight: 224
Current weight: 174
Goal weight: 160 (my doctor and I revised this down to 140 recently)

Outer goal: Honesty? A bikini!
Inner goal: staying motivated to exercise!

See you next week!

First week with food!

Well folks, I was allowed 4 oz of lean meat and 1/2 cup of cooked vegetables this week in lieu of one of my Optifast meals? How did it go? Sort of mixed, actually.



On the one hand, I did lose 2.5 pounds (good), on the other I was really stressed out all week. The holiday did not make it easier. (For my non U.S. readers: It was Independence Day on July 4th--a time of mega feasting in the the ole U.S.A. Apparently we Americans get back at the British by stuffing our faces with potato salad and becoming enormous, gelatinous, global overlords.) So, I couldn't rely on a schedule to keep me sane or even just focus on putting whole food back into my diet. It was rush, rush, rush--coupled with the stress of temptation and disappointing people. (Everyone says that they don't mind that I am not eating food, but it does make people uncomfortable. "Just one bite can't hurt" means they are uncomfortable when you are not eating.)



I got the through the week with only a few meltdowns and a lingering sense of unease about ballooning up to 235 pounds again. I had to do a lot of deep breathing. I've started doing visualizations before bed. I just lie in bed and listen to ocean sounds from my sound machine and visualize me doing different things like running a 5K in 30 minutes or being able to bend over and put my hands flat on the ground.



I think the visualization is helping. Last night I started living a quasi-normal lifestyle again (as I now may have a enough food to actually have a couple of meals a day) and spent 10 minutes organizing my food for today and getting my work and workout clothes ready (I am trying to run a few days a week at my school's track in the morning before school). It seemed like a hassle, but in reality, it didn't take that long. If you add in the time it took me to set up the coffee maker, it took fifteen minutes for me to prepare for a successful, healthy day.



Anyway, I am looking forward to this week's additions of 8 oz of dairy and one serving of fruit. It's yogurt and strawberries for lunch today! YUM!



The Numbers:



Starting weight: 224

Current weight: 176

Goal weight: 160

Goals:

Outer Goal: To look like an older version of Taylor Swift
Inner Goal: Staying focused and organized.

See you next week!

Can I Hear a What, What!

Raise the roof! I have broken 180 pounds! The last time I was less than 180 was over ten years ago, when I was first teaching!

So, what does that mean? You guessed it, I am no longer classified as obese! You guys may remember that one of my visualizations was looking at the BMI chart and seeing myself in the "normal" range. That vision seems possible to me now!

Today is another milestone, in that I get start incorporating real food back into my diet. I know that this addition is going to slow my weight loss, but that is okay. What's important is losing the weight, not getting it off quickly. I think many of us give ourselves a hard time when the weight doesn't come off like it does on the Biggest Loser. I think we forget that those folks on the Biggest Loser are working out 6-8 hours a day and eating the best possible food with almost no temptations. Sometimes they only lose a pound, even after all that!

I thought for sure that I would lose at least two pounds this week, but I lost a pound and a half. What am I going to do? Beat myself up? NO WAY. I just looked back at my activity levels and realized that I need to step it up a bit on the cardio. I don't need to run a marathon; I just need to go BACK to walking/jogging four days a week. I realized I stopped doing regular cardio a few weeks ago and kept "meaning" to go back to it. I just have to do it if I am going to continue to lose 1-2 pounds a week.

I am still struggling with the scale thing. I've stopped weighing myself compusively 10 times a day, and just settled onto an evening weigh in and a morning weigh in (I am doing an experiment on sleep and weight loss-you guessed it--8 hours or more of sleep almost always result in lower numbers. I am doing some research, and it has to do with cortisol levels.) It is hard when the scale inexplicable creeps up for no discernable reason! I think that is why most weight loss programs encourage you to keep to weighing yourself one time a week. I think I will do that once I am finished with the Optifast.

Okay, so one final thing before the numbers. Shape magazine has this great article on toning your arms this month. I have modified the "standing dip" for my GeekStyle workout. Instead of the bands, I just use my hand weights. Stand up straight, make sure your core is steady (tuck in those hips), and slightly bend your knees. Then bend your arms so that your fists are at waist level, then push down. Do 20 reps, three times. (The actually exercise is on p. 106 of the July 2010 issue. )

The numbers:

Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 178.5
Goal Weight: 160

The goals:

Getting off the scale and into my life!

See you next week!

300 Calorie Nachos

I LOVE NACHOS!



They are my Achilles heel; they are my Kryptonite! Here is a 300 calorie version that is small but satisfying.



1 oz Tostitos brand light chips (12 chips) (90 cal)

1 oz Reduced Fat cheddar cheese (80 cal)

1 med tomato (25 cal)

2 oz Avocado (50 cal)

2 tbsp of non-fat sour cream (30 cal)

1/4 of small onion (20 cal)

garlic

lemon or lime juice

paprika



How To:



1. grate the cheese

2. mash up the avocado

3. dice the tomato and the onion

4. mix up half of the tomato and the diced onion with the avocado, add garlic, lemon juice, and paprika to taste (hey, you just made guacamole!)

4. put the chips in the bowl and sprinkle the cheese on top

5. microwave on high for 30-60 seconds or until the cheese is melted (you can also bake in a 400 degree oven for a few minutes).

6. put the avocado mixture on top of the melted cheese garnish with the sour cream and the remaining tomato.



Notes:



Okay-the twelve chips barely cuts it--so I eat it with a fork. You can also drop out the guacamole and add 1/4 cup of refried beans for roughly the same number of calories. The important thing is you get that yummy nacho taste!



The tomato counts as one serving of veggie, the avocado has good fats in it, plus you get protein from the cheese. This is isn't the healthiest thing you can eat, but it does have some redeeming value in there.

One more week until...

Well folks I did it! I met my 15 week goal of losing 40 pounds! Yea!!! This week's loss of 2.5 pounds left me at 180 even. So you know what that means (drumroll please) that's right, it's only one more week of all Optifast all the time. It's also one more week until:

1. I am not longer classified as "obese"
2. I am officially once size smaller than the average size in this country.
3. My BMI is less than 30

This week was a tough week for me. I really miss regular food, and as transition comes closer, I really have to ratchet up the willpower. I just keep my eye on the prize and do my visualizations. I have two: one is me in a fabulous dress at my dear friends' Christmas party; the other is me looking at the BMI chart and it saying "normal range." Visualizations may sound sort of "woo woo," but they really do help me stay focused on my goal and avoid temptations.

So, in class this week we started to learn about transition back to regular food. I learned the difference between tofu and red meat for us dieters. The difference isn't much. You get to eat a bit more tofu than red meat, but not by much--about .5 ounces per exchange. If the red meat is lean, then you are golden. Choose cuts that have "loin" in the name, and you know you are getting a lean piece of red meat. (However, if you have political or health reasons for avoiding red meat, you should do so!) I love me some tofu, so I was excited to have it again; but for you carnivores out there--keep it to four ounces!

This week, I will be posting the recipes that I have been cooking at home that have helped my dear, darling hubby lose 25 pounds in the last five weeks. So, I am going to cut this week's installment short. Come back for my 100-350 calorie recipes!

Non-Scale Victories: I tried on a bikini...and yes...it fit!

The numbers:
Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 180
Goal Weight: 160

Inner Goal: As always, finding peace and loving myself.

See you next week!

The Camel is Gone..Repeat...The Camel is Gone!

For those of you who don't know, "The Camel" is what I call my freakish ability to retain water while under stress. Occasionally I get "camel" weeks, where my fat mass drops but the scale does not move accordingly--that's a "camel" week. It just means I am retaining huge amounts of water! Fortunately, I lost all the water I was retaining, unfortunately, my fat mass did not drop much. I lost three pounds this week, but only 1/2 a pound of fat--the rest water (that's okay though, the opposite happened last week--so I am still on a good track!)



The truth is: the sloth strikes again! (What is it with all these animals?) I did up my exercise this week, but I am having a hard time getting back to my running routine. I decided that I am going to run today--no matter how tired I am or how much I REALLY want to watch Top Chef (which is saved on my DVR and oh so tempting!).



This week in class I discover two things. 1) I was completely wrong about when I will get to eat real food again! ARGH! Those of you in the interwebs are thinking, "so what, it's only an extra week." OMG! I have only eaten Optifast and one sugar free Popsicle since March 17th. I am dreaming, DREAMING I TELL YOU, of a sliced tomato with warm goat cheese and olive oil drizzled on top (300 cal.) Or a simple clementine, bursting with juice (35 cal). Wait, wait--how about some steamed spinach with vinegar, garlic, and paprika (25 cal). ANYTHING but Optifast!!!!



Okay, 2) apparently, when you do a medical weight loss program, they bring in hot men to teach you how to exercise. Now, I know that was inappropriate and so very objectifying--but seriously? It was like red meat to the lions den! (We are group of primarily middle aged, married women after all!) After getting over my initial distraction from the bulging biceps, started to pay attention. Rodney* showed us some very cool, simple exercises that we could do sitting at our desk and while watching T.V.--perfect additions to the GeekStyle workouts!



Here is the first tip: when you are at your desk at home or work, stretch your legs out in front of you under your desk. Then flex your feet back--mmm feels good right? Apparently, many of us sloths don't exercise because we don't do flexibility training--so it hurts when we exercise. This exercise stretches the backs of your legs and lower back. Once you master that technique, roll your shoulders back and sit up, while still stretching your legs--now you are getting the rest of your back! I do ballet stretches everyday, and these stretches got me in places that I did not know existed!



Second tip: When you are watching T.V. --do not sit in a chair or couch. Simply sit on the floor, back against the chair or sofa, legs straight out, sitting up straight. Your back and legs will thank you for it!



Third tip: Watch T.V. standing on one leg. I know! LOL, right! There is a trick to it. Don't lock your knees, lift up one leg slightly, clench your glutes (you know--your butt), 30-60 seconds on each side. Does it burn calories? YES--it helps you strengthen your core, which includes all the muscles that support your spine. Apparently, a solid core is the secret to healthy living and enjoyable exercise. Also, if your core is strong, you burn more calories all day long!



Anyway, I am really happy that my weightloss is staying on track, and I am trying to feel okay with not getting to eat food until July. See you next week!

Non Scale Victories: Wearing a tee shirt I bought in 1986!

The Numbers:

Starting Weight in November 2009: 234
Starting Weight on Optifast: 224
Current Weight: 182.5

Goals:

Outer Goal: 160

Inner Goal: To come to terms with my decisions and to treat myself well! Oh, and of course, World Peace!

*Rodney did not ask us to advertise his services or try to sell us anything. He is simply really great at explaining things to beginners, so I included his email and promoted him 'cause he's awesome! He has a Boot Camp workout for people of all fitness levels in the San Jose, CA area.

I Was Right...The Weigh in Was Not Dramatic.

So, my weigh in went better than expected.

I thought for sure the scale was going to creep up, since my home scale was taunting me. Actually, I think its steely heart was laughing maniacally like the Joker or something, since it was literally creeping up a pound a day to the point where the dream of breaking 186 was impossible. But, in some sort of weight loss miracle, Tuesday night, my weight dropped by several pounds and by Wednesday morning I thought I had a good chance of weighing in a mere 1/2 pound over last week.

In fact, I weighed in a 1/2 less than last week. For those of you used to me losing 2-3 pounds a week, that may not sound like much, but I was SO relieved! My 1/2 weight loss meant that my body was still averaging 2.5 pounds lost per week, and anymore than that would have worried me, frankly. Nobody loses that much actual FAT unless they are on the Biggest Loser working out 8 hours a day. I hate to inform everyone, but I am not working out 8 hours a day, more like 20-60 minutes a day. (Sloth Girl strikes again!)

I was reading online at the Liquid Diet Discussion board, that plateaus of this kind are common on liquid diets, so I relaxed even more. I think, too, that having the Tanita scale read out is nice too, since it tells you how much fat you have lost and how much water--so it is easier to release your scale anxiety somewhat.

Anyway, I think my little secret goal of being less than 180 pounds before my Mom comes into town (June 21! I am sooooo excited!!) is not going to happen. And, you know what? That's okay. Improbable goals set you up for failure. Remember, diets are about loving yourself and treating yourself with respect. Arbitrary numbers really don't help you do that, right? Right? Help me out people! I think I need an "amen!" for that.

Tip of the Week: In addition to drinking your 8 glasses of water a day (not diet soda or Snapple or something), drink an extra 8 oz for every 25 pounds you are overweight. (Don't pound two gallons of water in 10 minutes or something, drink it through out the day!)

Apparently, this helps your hypothalamus regulate your hunger! Maybe you guys all knew this, but the hunger and thirst areas of your hypothalamus are next to each other. Since the average American is really dehydrated, often thirst is mistaken for hunger. Extra water allows your body to manage its signals better! Water doesn't just fill up the ole tum tum, it actually allows your body to do its job better!

I get these delicious, calorie free drink mixes for my water to change it up a bit and encourage me to drink more. Go H2O!!!

The Numbers:

Starting Weight in November 2009: 234
Starting Weight on Optifast: 224.5
Current Weight: 185.5

The Goals:

Outer Goal: 160

Inner Goal(s): To stop investing personalities in my scale like they are people. To love myself and attain inner peace. Oh and, you know it, WORLD PEACE!

I Know It's Monday...BUT...

I know it is Monday, but I just have to get some stuff off of my chest!

Can I just say, I am dreading Wednesday's weigh in? Yep...ever since I saw that 4.5 drop last week, I just knew I was in for one frustrating week this time around! Not only am I not losing weight, but the scale is creeping up!

I have checked my food diary (which I keep religiously, despite the lack of food), and the only thing that has changed is that I have started drinking these carbonated waters from my local grocery store. They have no caffeine, no sodium, and no sugar. So, it seems unlikely that they would cause me to gain weight. They come in all these delicious flavors, and it is nice having something different on the ole palate once in a while.

As usual, I have not cheated! So, I guess I have the unreasonable expectation that my sacrifices will be rewarded by an inanimate machine.

Which brings me to my next topic: my toxic relationship with my scales...yes you heard it here first, SCALES plural! My old scale was so off that literally I could not tell how much I weighed. It would have a ten pound differential from day to day, even when I zeroed it out each time. So, I bought a digital scale from Walgreens. I actually liked this scale a lot, since it gives you your weight in .2 pound increments. Then, half way through my Optifast program, I bought a scale at Target that gives me a fat percentage. Much to my surprise, this scale and my other scale have a differential range of .5 to 2.0 pounds! I call them my mean scale and my nice scale, which should tell you how deranged I am!

These scales are the most important thing in my life, forget my husband and child...what do my scales say?!?! This kind of relationship with the scale is disfunctional to say the least, but it is one many of us who diet have. When we make such a radical change in our life, we need positive reinforcement to keep it up! For many of us, we deposit a lot of feelings into an unthinking machine. My goal this week is to accept that the scale is not a measurement of my morality or integrity, but simply a measurement of of my body weight--something that changes depending on what planet I am on! (This is a true fact: go to Mars, and you will weigh less!)

I really need to work on that inner peace goal!

See you Thursday!

That was Unexpected!

So...um...yeah...I have been sick since last Wednesday, including having to take a day off of work...no cardio other than taking the stairs and coughing...even my GeekStyle toning regime was difficult...YET...



I lost 4.5 pounds this week. Why I am not so excited? Welll... I think .5 was muscle.



One of the hazzards of being on Optifast is losing muscle, so I am going to pump it up at the gym this week and try to regain some of it back. I am always a little leery when I lose more than three pounds in a week on any diet, since it is nigh impossible to lose 4.5 pounds of fat while doing nothing but watching Lord of the Rings and drinking vanilla tea.



Here are some cool facts though, at 186, I am a mere 6.5 pounds away from being offically "overweight" as opposed to "obese." Sweet! Those BMI charts at the doctor's office are super depressing, right? (Especially since I was creeping towards the "morbidly obese" category!) So now they are less depressing at least!



Other news: My pant size has dropped...wait for it...FOUR sizes since MARCH. I made my poor husband, who was also really sick this holiday weekend, drag me to the local store to buy a pair of pants for work! My other pants are simply dropping off!


Temptations this week were few, since I had to force myself to eat due to feeling so bad. However, this week was less about what I was eating and more about how I am feeling about myself. For example, I have noticed an increase of surface area on my skin with a, shall we say, cottage cheese like texture. And, I have to remember that, although I weigh the same as I did when I was 25, I am 39, so I cannot expect to have the same body. I think that many diets give people the false sense that they will magically return to their younger, youthful self. Although my insides are definitely younger (lower blood pressure, cholesterol, stronger heart), my exterior remains its normal age. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am okay with that.


I've been on two other official "diets": Jenny Craig and Atkins. I loved Atkins and got down to 175 on it; however I did not have the support and training that I am getting with my current diet program (frankly--not to "dis" JC--I did not really get that either at my local Jenny Craig Centre). Nor did I go deep and really think about the causes of why I gain weight and why I eat the way I do. I think that is why I gained the weight back and then some. For me, this journey is a diet not just from food, but from self destructive behavior. One of the topics I have been contemplating is self-criticism.

(Check out this interesting quiz from the National Organization for Women)

Even at my heaviest and unhealthiest, I never sat around with my girlfriends and criticized specific parts of my body. However, I did call myself "fat," because it was truthful to me. But it was also self punishing. I also have never thought of my body as "normal." In reality, there is nothing "abnormal" about my body, it just needs some TLC. I routinely hear young girls and women bad mouthing themselves in public. They talk about themselves in ways you would rarely hear someone talk about another person. I don't think it is a sign of modesty when a 120 pound woman escoriates her thighs at the local Starbucks; it's a sign of seething self hatred. I think if we liked our bodies more, we would treat them better. I think one of the reasons that many people overeat is because we are so unhappy with ourselves, yet it seems like society has trained us to hate the only gift we are given in this life: our body. Would we really feed our body something that could kill it if we loved it? Would we really force it into sickness and feebleness if we adored how special we are? I think not. We would care for our bodies the way we care for our children or our special momentos, with purpose and love.

Outer Goal: 160 (26 pounds to go!)
Inner Goal: To love myself fully and treat myself with respect...oh and World Peace!

Please send me an email or write a comment! I'd love to hear about your journey and what is going on with you!

Losing Weight...Geek Style!

Well...another good week, sort of....

I lost 2.5 pounds, but only one pound was actual fat! Since they are remodeling the gym, and I have been in serious sloth mode, I decided to do some Geek Style training, and try to fit in my exercise while playing role-playing games and watching Dr. Who. Here is what I did...

Arm Exercises: I bought some inexpensive wrist/ankle weights from Target . All I do is three sets of twenty of the following: Curls (those are the ones where your arms are at your sides, and you bring your fists to your shoulders.

After twenty of those, I move on to the exercise I call "The Sexy Jesus," named after a song from "Hamlet 2." I stick my arms straight out to the side (the Jesus pose) then I do ten rotations of my arm forward, then ten backward. (On a personal note, no disrespect is meant to the J-man, to whom I give mad props.)

Then I do twenty of an exercise call "I Give Up!"--this link has the best description of it I can find. But basically, raise your elbow to the ceiling, touch your neck with your hands, then raise your hands to the ceiling. Add weights and you are good to go!

I basically do three sets of each while watching television. If can get in all of these exercises before the first or second commercial break of MythBusters or Dr. Who.

(For those of you who love Arnold Schwarzenegger and going to gym to work, you have to check out this site...HI-LARIOUS picture of the California Governor!)

Cardio: What's a Geek to do when her apartment complex has shut down the gym and she is too lazy to leave her GeekCave to go to the gym (plus she really, really doesn't want to change into exercise clothes!) Mini-cardio bursts! Many people do not realize this fact, but you just need to exercise for 30-60 minutes a day to stay healthy! Plus, those do not have to be consecutive minutes!! You can do them in 10-15 minute increments! SWEET!

When I am in a non-exercise mood, all I do is stand in front of the T.V. and walk. If you walk from one commercial break to another, that is roughly ten minutes. If you have DVR, you can walk up to a mile briskly while watching Stephen Colbert (or another half hour show), if you fast forward through all the commercials. You can also try this technique when you are playing Facebook games and Civilization. How much time to we really spend waiting for our crops to grow or our turns to finish-- a lot! I guarantee, if you just stand for 20-30 minutes instead of sitting while playing your games, you will lose some weight! (For gadget Geeks--think wireless controllers!)

The bottom line is you can walk up to four miles in one hour in front of the t.v, but can you burn fat while playing role playing games? YES!

Here is my trick: at my weekly RuneQuest game, I stand for ten-fifteen minutes during the game three times. Standing doesn't burn lots of calories, but it does burn more than sitting. It also takes me away from all the food that abounds at such events (which is the subject of a different post!) I also take a brisk walk with a friend an hour before our game, which revs up the ole metabolism before I sit down for six hours and attempt to kill fiends of Chaos with my pencil and some dice.

My point is that we all have down weeks exercise-wise. Every bit of activity counts, and you don't have to sacrifice doing those things you love to get some exercise into your life!

For my non-geeky friends...I haven't tried incorporating exercise into crafting or reading, so if you have some tips...leave a post!

Outer Goal: 160 (30.5 more pounds to go!)

Inner Goal: World Peace, Inner Peace, and, honestly, a piece of cheese!

Three Pounds BABY!

Despite the gym being closed in our building and my total sloth-like attitute, I still managed to drop three pounds since my last weigh in!



Here's some stuff I learned that might be helpful to everyone in the blogosphere:

Sleep matters! I got a minimum of seven hours of deep sleep every night this week by not drinking more than a few ounces of water an hour and half before bed. (I used to be up all night processing all the liquid I was consuming.) I also do three minutes of deep, abdominal breathing before going to sleep. It's relaxing and helps me sleep better. I found out that a good night's sleep reduces the cortisol in your body; cortisol is a hormone that is part of the reason why people retain fat (it has to do with the fight or flight response).

Activity not exercise! Despite being banned from the gym due to remodeling, I still made time to do some mimimal activity everyday. Yesterday I walked up three flights of stairs and didn't even breath hard! I've been making a special effort to take extra trips to the office (1/4 of mi round trip), to squeeze in a few extra steps. It's phenomenal how many calories one can burn by parking far away or taking the stairs instead of the elevator! For those of us who despise working out, thinking about activity instead of having to dress in spandex and fight with body builders for time on the nautilus machine is A LOT better!

Outward Goal: 160 pounds (33 pounds to go!)
Inner Goal: Sylph-like body in manner of Olivia de Havilland or Taylor Swift...and World Peace!

See you next week!

The dreaded....PLATEAU!

Yes...even on 960 calories a day, one can hit a plateau apparently! In real world terms, I actually lost a good bit of weight: 1.5 pounds. Most people would be thrilled with that amount (as my doctor reminded me as I was whining to her!). The bottom line is that my body is 30 pounds lighter, so it doesn't need to shed weight as quickly. As I remind my students about life, "it's a journey, not a destination."

However, it is hard to not feel bad when you have had two weeks in a row wherein you have lost three pounds each time. I just need to remind myself of some simple things, like..

1) I am only 15 pounds heavier than I was when I got married.
2) My daughter has never known me to be less than 200 pounds, now she does.
3) I can shop in the regular section of department stores now (that's mainly due to the fact that 30% of women are overweight, so they put larger sizes in the regular sections now. I remember a time when 12 was the largest size available in the standard sections!)
4)My blood pressure is in the healthy range!

In our class, we call these "non-scale" victories. I call them hints of what my life will be like when I finally get to my goal.

External Goal: 160
Internal Goal: Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Leave me a post!

Did I Break 200 lbs?

YES!!!

And, yes, it is true that I did the cabbage patch in the lobby of the medical office! I guess discrete is not exactly my middle name!

For the first time in almost a decade, I am below 200 pounds! The Tanita scale at Kaiser stopped at 197.5! Usually it taunts me by pausing...then adding two pounds! Not so this week!

So here is the kicker...I actually lost 4 pounds of fat last week, but I gained a pound of water---so that is even better news! In my mind, the fat loss is so much more important that the actual number of pounds lost! So far, I have lost 18.5 of just FAT. Since fat mass puts soooooo much pressure on my knees (three times as much as anywhere else), my knees think I have lost 55.5 pounds. Ahhhh knees, I knew you were my favorite part of my body for a reason!

Challenges this week:

1)Staff Appreciation Day: FREE YUMMY FOOD ALL DAY AT WORK!
2)Remodeling: My building is remodeling the leasing officeand GYM! Working out is a challenge!
3) I made Coq a Vin on Friday--apparently it was delicious....sigh....

So, my goal for the week: 194.5
My outward goal: 160
My inward goal: self discovery, getting rid of the batwings, oh and of course! World Peace!

See you guys next Thursday!

Tips and Tricks for the Optifast Program...

Okay, so my friends and I have been on the program long enough to provide you with some tricks for being on a super strict diet..here they go!

Optifast tricks for weeks 1-15 (General Tips are below!)

--- You can use the vanilla powder in diet root beer and it tastes like a root beer float. Same with diet orange soda, mmmm creamsicle.

--- Warm up the Double Berry bars in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. It softens them and makes them taste better.

--- When faced with free food, look at the offerings and think about what you could eat to maintain your weight loss after you are "off product." I do this all the time and it really helps. That's how I got through the last few weeks. When you think, "Wow, I really shouldn't eat that stuff at all at any time!" you feel less deprived. It also helps you train your brain for when you are no longer on the Optifast.

--- A few dashes of hot sauce in the soups makes them taste so much better--even if you are not a hot sauce person.

--- Safeway sells zero calorie flavoring for water next to the Crystal Light. It's tart--but Optifast is so sweet that it is a nice break.

--- After a few weeks, try varying your program. Instead of shake, bar, shake, bar, soup, bar--try two liquid things then two solid things. It breaks the monotony.

--- Try a new flavor once a week. I hate artificial Vanilla and Strawberry, but I took a chance and found some products that ease the monotony of Chocolate. What's the worse thing that could happen? You eat something that is slightly grosser than normal?

General wisdom from my Wednesday class:

1. Plan, Plan, Plan: Example: I went away for the State Speech and Debate Finals thinking I would be leaving Sunday morning. I was sooooo wrong! It turns out I had to stay all day! Thankfully, I took a full days supply of meals. Taking extra meals along in my purse has saved my butt more than a few times, since my schedule can be so erratic!

2. Live your life. Don't get on a routine that is too dissimilar from your regular life--meaning don't live like a monk or something. While on Optifast, I have thrown dinner parties, gone out to eat, and gone to several events with mounds of free, delicious food. Don't get me wrong, it was hard, but when I am off this diet--I will be faced with the challenge of eating in new ways. I may as well learn how to assert myself now.

3. Change what isn't working for you. You need to live your life normally, but you need to exercise and plan more. Write down what you do, what you eat, and what you feel for one or two days. Is there something that is preventing you from staying on your diet? Change it. You don't need to change your whole life, but changing small things everyday really adds up. I did this and I literally added 3000 steps a day to my pedometer.

4. Enlist allies. I have a joke that everyone in world knows about my diet. In a way, it's true. I have gotten support from friends, servers at restaurants, advice from colleagues, and kudos from students. These allies are especially supportive if you have a unsupportive partner or family (which is the case for some of the people in my Wednesday night class--but my family is 100% behind me!). Sometimes, the people closest to us are anxious about our lifestyle changes. I have heard of husbands buying sweets and unhealthy food for their wives to sabotage their efforts. Actually they are mad, mad that you are changing something important to them--even if that change is positive. Change is threatening. Having a network of support is important.

5. Dig deep. This time in your life is a great time to reflect on yourself and your needs. You have control over what you put in your body; every successful dieter owns this fact. It's also a time to get rid of excuses. There are so many excuses we give ourselves for not doing the right thing. Being honest with ourselves will improve our well-being. By being mindful of our decisions (like: "I am watching Biggest Loser instead of working out.") helps us understand how we allow ourselves to wallow in our pain. However, don't beat yourself up. Just acknowledge and plan for a different decision next time. For example, I am going to wear my sneakers to work everyday this week to remind me to exercise.

I really want you to post your tips for our readers! So please comment!

Week Seven Weigh In...Did I break the 200 lb barrier?

Nope!

I lost 2.5 pounds which brings my weight to 200.5. The worst of it is that the scale taunted me--that's right--TAUNTED ME! It hovered at 198.5 for at least a second, just as it was going to settle...BAM! Biggest Loser moment--it shoots up a full TWO POUNDS.

I hate you scale.

The good news is that I will probably break 200 this up coming week plus I FINALLY will have a my first day off in 21 days on Saturday!

Can I be honest here? I only worked out once last week, which is why I didn't lose more weight. I am worried that I am not going to be able to make my training goals for my June 20th 5K. Oh motivation, why have you abandoned me?

In Other News...

So, those of you read my first post know that I am doing this crazy Optifast thing so help my hernia. It does feel better, but since losing the weight, it is so much more OBVIOUS. Remember the movie Alien? Yeah, my tummy sort of looks like that--there is a big, squishy lump on the left hand side--ewwwww!

My Outer Goal: 160
My Inner Goal: World Peace, Inner Peace, and Whirled Peas

Anyway...let me know how you guys are doing! See you later!

A mini post from Trav: the math of weight loss...

Lots of folks have been asking me about how I have lost so much weight. I tell them the same thing that everyone else says: calories burned-calories consumed=weight lost/gained.

However, I used to work out and eat less all the time and loss little or no weight, and I finally figured out why!

It's not hormones or enzymes or whatever...it's MATH! That's right, we've been doing the WRONG MATH!

Okay...so here's what you have to do...

A) calculate your RMR (http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php)...for newbies that's your RESTING METABOLISM RATE.

B) Then...you have to figure out how many calories you expend doing normal tasks (i.e watching tv, cooking, whatever...).

C) Figure out how many calories you burn jogging, doing aerobics, walking the dog...whatever you do for exercise when you are trying to lose weight.

D) Now here comes the hard part! Normally, to lose weight we increase exercise. We get excited, because the treadmill has been telling us we burned 150 calories or something! You feel chuffed. "I have burned an extra 150 calories today!" WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! You have only burned 150 minus the number of calories you would have burned sitting on your butt watching tv or something.

EXAMPLE: Trav burns 185 calories on the treadmill in a 1/2 hour. She burns 25 calories watching TV for a half an hour. So my work on the treadmill only counts for 160 extra calories burned than if I had done nothing--NOT 185. I know this sounds weird, but this kind of thing adds up over the course of a day. If you think you are burning 500 calories a day more, but it is really 350 or something, you are going to lose weight slower than you expect.

That's why my weight was dropping at such a slow pace or not at all! I was consuming too many calories, so I was maintaining my weight--not dropping it!

The cool thing about knowing your RMR, is that if you adjust your calorie intake to be lower than your RMR, you don't have to worry about all this stuff--you can just do the simple math every day. So, if your RMR is 1500 calories a day, you can drop it to 1300. 200 times 7 equals a deficit of 1400 calories a week, which means an almost guaranteed weight loss of 1/2 pound in a week. That's why skinny people and older people lose weight slower--their RMR is lower than younger, heavier people. If you want to lose a pound a week--guess what--you will have to burn 1750 calories extra that week. What's nice is that even the biggest couch potato burns calories on top of their RMR--you just need to figure out how many (I'll give you a hint: a couch potato --and the a majority of the US population-- burns 1.2 times their RMR.)

Doctors say you should NEVER go below 1200 calories a day without medical supervision. So people with low RMR's need to exercise a lot more. That's why everyone (like Bob, Jillian, and your Aunt Sally) tell you if you want to lose weight, exercise! (http://exercise.about.com/cs/exbeginners/a/exforbeginners.htm)

That's also why every weight loss plan in the world bottoms out at 1200 calories a day.

Anyway, if your weight loss is stalled: first things first. Figure out how much you eat, figure out how much you burn. Do the math, then get off the couch. You may just need a brisk walk to kick start the ole metabolism!

Remember: as you lose weight, your RMR drops--so check it again every 3-5 pounds you lose!

See you Thursday!

Holy Cow! or make that Holy Optifast!

It's official! I have lost 30 pounds since November! Okay, most of that is in the last 5 weeks, but still....

Things I Can Do Now!

1. I can now buy pants in a regular department store--not in the "Women's Section" either. (What the heck does that mean, anyway? Are skinny chicks NOT women?)

2. Cross my legs...yup! I could not cross my legs before...(no comments from the peanut gallery, please!)

3. Bend down and tie my shoes. It's true, I wear slip-ons for a reason.

4. Resist temptation. A colleague waved a box of donuts in my face, AND I wasn't even interested! (That was a total lie, by the way. You know I wanted a chocolate old fashioned!)

5. Bore total strangers with my weight loss journey. Yes, dear readers, you guys aren't the only ones! Every restaurant server, grocery clerk, and hapless student of mine has the listen to my endless weight loss travails!

So, the real news! I lost another 3.5 pounds! ALL FAT! My cholesterol and blood pressure remain normal, and my labs look great. Other than almost fainting in first period this morning, I am doing well!

External Goal: 160
Internal Goal: Inner Peace, World Peace, and, let's be honest here, a hot bod!

See you next week!

Week Six....where has the time gone!

Okay folks, I lost...drum roll please....

3.5 pounds this week! Bringing my total to 17.5 since starting the Optifast!

The night before my weigh in I had a dream that someone asked me to try their chocolate cake. It was a chocolate peanut butter cake (strange, but hey, it's a dream!) In the middle of my dream, I was like "Oh my God! I just cheated on my diet!" So, even my subconscious cannot escape my diet!

This week has been strange, since I have been on vacation part of the time. I was having a hard time eating all the meals, believe it or not, as I was sleeping in and going to bed early. I seriously have left over meals that I am not sure what to do with. I guess I'll eat them during maintenance or something. The food is so processed, I am sure it will last until the Armageddon!

So, here is my beef of the week...

There are people in my program with me who cheat, but lose more weight than I do! How is this possible? I want to eat crunchy snacks too! However, I just know that once I start eating, I will gorge myself like the animals in the The Fantastic Mr. Fox...yum yummmy yum...grrr...grrr...yumm...mmmmmgrrr....

Anyway, my goal for this week is 2 pounds.

As always, my outward goal is 160.
My inner goal, I am thinking a young Briget Bardot...and, of course, World Peace!

See you next week!

Three More Pounds!

It's a miracle! Despite traveling and a long drive back from Seattle (which was a lot of fun!), I lost three pounds this week!

I am no longer tired and dizzy and HAVE NOT CHEATED once in three weeks!

My biggest challenge this week was actually the Olive Pit in Corning, CA. It's a family favorite and tradition. I felt like a tractor beam was pulling my towards the tasting bar...mmm...kalamatas...green queens..those tiny delectable mediterranean ones....I am salivating just writing about them!

Oh...did I MENTION THE CHEESE?!? They had stacks of delicious, local artisinal cheeses in the deli case...sigh....I have to remind myself it's just bacteria and cow lactation...bacteria and cow lactation...bacteria and cow lactation....

Anyway, if you are not on some crazy liquid diet, a trip to Corning is definitely worthwhile! There are also lots of local fruit and veggie vendors, so if you love--love--love food, it's a fun trip. Corning is about 30 minutes past Sacramento.

So...needless to say I have been pretty lethargic this week while on vaction! However, my friend and weightloss buddy Sissy took me carving today. It is really fun and great cardio! As soon as the bills get paid, I am totally getting a trikke! I want to commute with it! If you want to know more, you can email me and I can connect you with Sissy--who is a certified carving instructor.

Other good news: I had to buy new pants yesterday, as my other jeans keep falling off my butt. Yes, like all women I lose weight first where I need it the most. Apparently, God feels that my posterior is not quite flat enough--so there you go--I am sure at least ten pounds of my weight loss can be attributed to the sudden erosion of any "back." (As in "baby got") However, when I fit into a size 16--several times mind you--I was sooooo excited I told the two salespeople all about my diet! What can I say, I am eliciting support everywhere I go. One salesgirl was so excited, she got all the sixteens off of the clearance rack for me! I fit into all but ONE pair! (However, they were low cut, so you always have to go up a size in low rise anyway--that's how you avoid muffin tops!)

FYI--I bought new jeans for school in September--they were size 22! I know! By the end of my shopping trip, the salesgirl and I had glistening eyes. It was pretty exciting!


Total Weight Loss: 14 pounds since March 10. 24 Pounds Since November 30.

Outer Goal: 160
Inner Goal: to be able to carve more than half a mile before having to stop! Also--I am really vibing off of the image of me as a short, plumper version of Heidi Klum--so I am sticking to my Heidi vizualization for this week!

See you next week!