The last ten pounds...

So, I finally weighed in at Kaiser for the first time since Christmas. Why? You may ask, did it take so, so, so very long! The answer: mysterious health problems!

So, ever since December 24th, the day of my big Christmas Eve bash (where I cooked amazingly delicious food! I will link the recipes on my recipe page!), I have been feeling run down and bad. In fact, I collapsed at school. I was so excited, the new me--healthy, fit, training for marathons for Pete's sake, was no longer a victim to her own bad habits. It turns out that Mother Nature had a different idea!

So, apparently, my heart started slowing down. After I lost all my weight, my resting heart rate was between 42-48 BPM, slow yes, but I was doing a lot of cardio! Then, at my hernia surgery in October, it was 36 BPM. Kaiser was worried, but since I was doing OK, they said they would keep an eye on things. By January, my BPM was 31 and dropping like a stone. By January 26, I could barely walk my usual 5K with my walking buddies! I almost passed out at the end! Finally, on January 28, during my Electrocardiogram, the technician suggested I go to the ER. My BPM had dropped to 27. That night, they put in my pacemaker.

The irony is that my excess weight was artificially raising my BPM and my blood pressure. So, I wouldn't have a pacemaker if I were still 235. However, I did avoid other health issues, and since this condition is genetic, I may have had to deal with it eventually while in poor health and at higher risk during surgery.

So, here is the kicker...I hadn't really lost any weight since my hernia surgery. Yes, I would fluctuate up and down, but these last ten pounds seem to be crawling off. Even my husband was perplexed; he couldn't figure out why someone who eats healthfully, low-cal, and exercises would suddenly gain five pounds for no discernible reason. Then I would lose 5.25 pounds the following week. It was the most frustrating three months of my life. It's one thing to loose .5 pounds in a month, it's another thing to wake up and be three pounds heavier than the day before, even though your habits have not changed! Yes, the net was a loss, but the dramatic fluctuations were taking a toll on me psychologically.

I sank into a deep depression. At one point, I just threw up my hands and starting eating whatever I wanted. It didn't seem to make that much of a difference, in all honesty! I still tracked everything; I just wasn't as strict. All that happened was that I gained four pounds. At one point, my family and friends started to really notice how down and low energy I was. I felt like no amount of sleep would help, and I dropped two of my exercise days out of my schedule. I was just too exhausted to wake up and go work out. So, of course, the lower exercise meant that my weight loss stopped.

During my last post, you can see that I really was trying to get back on track, but I seemed cursed by mysterious health problems. My sciatic nerve was acting up, I had shortness of breath, you name it! All those issues led me to the operating room and my new, mechanical heart.

So, what happened? Since my pacemaker was put in, I have lost three pounds! I lost five pounds the first week, but I was pretty dehydrated, so a lot was water. My husband thinks that my low heart rate was suppressing my metabolic rate, and my body was undergoing so much stress, it was reluctant to shed any pounds. Indeed, I have walked twice since my surgery, and have felt tired but good (not like I am going to pass out!). My goal is to get my walking mileage up, then start running again in March--after my doctor clears me of course!

I think, sometimes, those of us who lose weight think that it will solve many (if not all) of our problems. Secretly, I thought that once I lost weight, I would never have to worry about my health again. I felt invincible and in control. As we all know, when you feel like nothing can touch you, that's when life shows you otherwise. The best thing I learned from this whole experience is that it is important to stick to your goals, even when things are not going well. I leaned on my husband for support, trying stay on track. When I fell off, I took the next day seriously--really being honest with myself and my feelings. It was hard, hard, hard. However, I really don't want to be overweight again.

These last ten pounds...they will come off, but my life will still be there. I will still be here, and after last week, I am very, very grateful for that!

Okay...here are the goals:

Inner goal: personal honesty
Outer goal: Catherine Deneuve in Cat People!

The numbers:

Starting weight: 234
Current weight: 146.5
Goal weight: 140

See you guys soon!